See you to the Maker
by Abydos Jackson
Summary: Alistair's reaction to finding Cailan's body at Ostagar. Based on the 'Return to Ostagar' add on. Another one I've been asked to add back to site. Thanks! :


This is based on the expression on my character's face when she finds Cailan's body on my first "Return to Ostagar" play through. Slight spoiler if you haven't played it yet. I'm ignoring the fact that Cailan should be a decomposed and squishy mess! Female Cousland's name is pronounced 'Ay-lan'

Disclaimer – I don't own these characters. Only playing with them. The Title ("See you to the Maker") Is taken from some Alistair dialogue from the 'Return to Ostagar' game add on.

"See you to the Maker"

Eilan's breath caught painfully in her chest as she realised what she was looking at. Too late she turned to try to spare Alistair the sight and found him pale and motionless, gazing up at the corpse of the King. He'd rarely spoken of his brother, but there could be no question now of the depth of his feeling. Eilan had never seen him look so vulnerable and broken.

He barely seemed to breathe as he closed his eyes and turned his face to the ground.

"I'd hoped to find his body." He muttered, almost to himself. "But not…like this. This is a mockery; to display him like a trophy" His words became stilted and angry and Eilan gripped his hand in hers. She tried not to compare his face with the features of the dead King strung before them, but found it hopeless; their kinship was plain for all to see. Eilan's lips parted to speak but she paused, unable to think of anything that could make this any better. Instead, she only watched as a series of emotions crossed Alistair's face until at last his features stilled and she saw his shoulders square. His eyes hardened as he locked his emotion away.

"Sten, would you…could you help me cut him down? There should still be a camp fire near the Mabari pens. I'd like to build a pyre. Cailan deserves no less." Alistair's tone, usually so playful and light-hearted, was now serious and hard, and Sten merely raised his eyebrow in silent question before moving to Alistair's side.

"We'll see to the pyre." Eilan murmured to the Warden before moving back to camp to intercept the others. As she passed Morrigan she recognized a glint in the woman's eyes. "Not today. " She told the witch coldly. "If I hear you speak a single word to him today I'll never forgive you. " Morrigan stepped back slightly, with a startled look, but said nothing and moved instead to strip the slain darkspawn of whatever practical valuables on their bodies. With a single glance back to Alistair and Sten, Elian picked her way through the camp and found the remnants of Duncan's fire. She considered the first time she'd stood there with mixed emotion. "I'm a different person now." she thought. Despite the suffering that had shaped her, she found that she liked who she'd become, and she couldn't imagine a life now without Alistair.

It fell to Oghren to organise the building of the pyre and, when ready, Alistair settled Cailan's body in the centre before holding a flaming torch to the timber. With the others at a respectful distance the Wardens moved close to one another and Eilan studied Alistair as the resolve on his face fell away. "Eilan, I still feel like I failed them. I know Cailan and Duncan sent us away, but it seems so unjust…" His voice fell away as he watched the flames intensify and moved his face to rest against her hair. "Do you know what makes me feel the most guilty? I feel so lucky to be alive with you. Who would have thought that the bastard's life would turn out better than the king's?" He smiled gently down at her. " He should have had my happy ending. The favoured son; the privileged Prince. Cailan, with everything before him, and me, hidden in the shadows. But here we are, and I've never felt such bitter happiness.I've never felt as close to anyone as I do to you, but I wish I'd known him as a brother should. I wonder if we'd have liked each other. "

Eilan beamed up at him. "Who couldn't help but like you? "

He laughed softly and pulled her closer. "It's true, I'm very lovable, but, perhaps, somewhat of an acquired taste? " He sighed before adding, "I suppose, I'm just wondering what it would have been like to grow up with him. This pyre is the only thing I do for Cailan now. I wish it could have been different. "

Eilan considered her words carefully. "I think he'd be thankful, Alistair. You denied the darkspawn their trophy, and you claimed him back for Ferelden. He couldn't ask any more of you. It's enough." She turned to face him and placed her arms around his waist. "We have each other. I wish my family were still alive to share this with us, but if all of this horror hadn't happened, if Loghainand Howe hadn't plotted against the King and killed my family, if the Darkspawn hadn't come, I would never have met you…" She tried to shake away the scattering of tears that threatened to fall as her voice trailed off. "We'll be alright, you and I, and we'll face whatever comes together."

Alistair nodded, released Eilan reluctantly and moved closer to the pyre. The flames had hidden Cailan from view completely now. Alistair placed his fist on his chest and bowed slightly towards the blaze. "I'm glad I was able to see you to the Maker, brother. Maybe we'll meet when my time comes." He looked over his shoulder at Eilan and added silently "…although, as I've waited this long perhaps you won't mind if I wait somewhat longer before that occurs. I'm not done here yet."

I'd appreciate any comments on how to improve. I hate writing dialogue. It always seems very clumsy to my eyes.


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